Baked Alaska - A Marital 'Difference' Poem by Margaret Kollmer

SHE: I find you make me ill at ease
Your temper is explosive;
You’re gruff and rude and frankly
Your sarcasm is corrosive.

HE: Indeed you are so hard to please
Illogic and so mincing
Your arguments are feather light
Not in the least convincing.

SHE: Your hands are large and wandering
You’re like a puffed up Lilo
I’d like to see you as a new
Male version of de Milo.

HE: You’re not as perfect as you think
I’d rather have Godiva
Remember that when next you try
To touch me for a fiver.

SHE: You speak to me beguilingly
And fancy you’re persuasive
But truth to tell dear Murgatroyd
I find your words abrasive.

HE: Your words come over loud and clear
Your nagging’s so enduring
But truth to tell dear Mary-Jane
An adder’s more alluring.

SHE: I wish, I wish you’d take yourself
To London or Nebraska
Or since you think you’re just the cream
Become a Baked Alaska!