Aunt Diana's Secret B Usiness Poem by Warren Brown

A dreadful thing took place
A happening, utterly without grace
Something that set her off
Something that made her cough.

I don't know what went wrong
But she is to receive a gong -
For upholding the status quo
Decorum it is, trust me, I know.

And reliably I am informed
She carried on and stormed
As though her little finger
Was mangled in the wringer!

The whispers of discontent
Across the stage they went
And smirking bodies ‘round the place
Well, they had to hide their face

I know that John was there
Was he to blame and is it fair
To suspect he was responsible
For being so, so irresponsible?

With much hissing and puffing
And some fuming and some huffing
She made it known to all and sundry
The "crime" was a low act, not "fundry"

Like me, you're completely in the dark
As to what went on, some lark
Probably secret women's business
Buried now for good, thank goodness!