Alone Again Poem by michael billiot

Alone I sit with people around me
And even though my hearts pounding
Ever so loudly no one hears a peep
From my screaming when I speak
Feeling so weak no one wants to be my friend
Keep thinking how I'm going to end
Full of such sin I wish to be clean
Why is it people have to be so mean
Hating this scene of myself bleeding to death
Slowly incapably trying to catch my breath
Feel like I'm possessed by some sick sadistic demon
Giving up on the hope ill ever get freedom
I have never won any kind of race or contest
People say its okay you did your best
Feeling unblessed even though I see all my gifts
But not one begins to give me the feeling that uplifts
My spirit I quit no one cares about my heart
Used to be slowly but quickly now I fall apart
How can I start to feel love and pure passion?
When all I'm doing inside is thrashing
I keep crashing into more than one brick wall
I used to but no longer do I hear Gods call
I'd give it all just to maybe hear his voice
To live or not haven't yet made that choice
So much noise inside every part of my brain
Feels like every day I'm going more insane
Please take my pain and just throw it in the trash
Thinking of how my life can be over in a flash
On myself I bash cause I'm hating myself tonight
With myself I'm always in a drastic fight
I've lost my might I don't want to live like this
Every time I think of myself and what I've done I get pissed
Can I flip a switch just push a button to erase?
Every single one of my many mistakes
I'm in a daze getting lost in my mind
There's things in here I don't want to find
Feeling so blind wishing I could die
And this is just a glimpse of what's really inside
Cause right now I really don't want to be alive