Afraid Poem by Eleonora Woods

The assignment said to write about what you're afraid of and don't stop until you know.
I am afraid of writing about what I am afraid of for I might find out of what I am afraid and I am very much afraid of that. But since I'm more afraid of people criticizing me and being cross, of having failed and feeling useless I write down what I'm afraid of and be done with it. With writing down I mean because being afraid goes on and on I am afraid.
I am afraid of losing self control or food or loved ones or so called securities.
I am afraid of what will happen when I'm not obliging anymore or listening. I am afraid of needing help for very basic things like going to the loo or lack of oxygen. I am afraid of losing money, of the panic and of needing help.
I am afraid of everything becoming blurred and you need to decide and you have no idea.
Afraid I am of ghosts inside the heart of darkness and afraid of people who are smart so they can hurt me with their sharpness. Afraid of people with charisma for I'm drawn to those, willing to please and sacrifice people like me?
I am afraid of boundaries because they make me feel rejected, and I am afraid of freedom for it leaves me unprotected.
I am afraid of mother love because there is a bill connected and of father love which is likewise affected, even worse: wanting complete surrender.
I am afraid of partner love because it shocks me not to find myself alone...

I am afraid of wasting time whatever that may be.
I am afraid of the Menace in my head that never gives me a minute to breath and I am afraid of the pain of death. I am afraid of letting go and standing there with empty hands. I am afraid of the light that doesn't leave a truth untouched and I am afraid of honesty that tells me who I am. I am afraid of who I am, For I am many and my each is of an entity itself, preaching a revolution against other revolutions.
For my name is civil war and I myself am ammunition, guns and the guerrilla.
I am afraid of civil war that leaves no place intact and drives women and children in exile.
I am afraid of being a fugitive because you do not speak the language and you have no place to go.
Your child goes hungry and it has no chance to grow and play. You are a parasite. You don't belong.
I am afraid of parasites because they take what you don't have and leave you bloodless with an aching wound that itches when you move.
Don't move.
I am afraid to move.
I might get shot by me and all my fears and then there would be silence and I am afraid of....