Afraid Poem by Lantiz De'Ruin

sitting, afraid to move.
afraid to call.
this fear to move to call, born from the pain of a past.
afraid to feel,
afraid to grow, to heal.
is it right or is it wrong?
burning within!
hate the way i feel if i don't,
hate the way i feel if i do.
the two D's i hate.
do and don't.
is it right?
or is HE wrong?
listen to my heart, is all i hear.
my heart is frozen in pain and fear.
afraid to move, to grow, to change.
hate the way i feel in these chains, yet hate the way i feel with out them.
lost. sad. lost sad.
i look into strangers eyes as they walk by, to much pain. so afraid to grow. to feel.
do i call or do i stay silent?
like i've always done.
always done, silence.
always say yes, never say no.
to have a heart so cold for my self, yet warm for others.
causees so much pain.
afraid to say no, and to say yes.
to say yes shatters my soul,
and the guilt from saying no bounds my broken wings.
afraid to stand up, and afraid to give in.
a scream trapt in silence, a whisper trapt in a scream.
i burn with so much rage.
and flow with so much love.
so afraid to rage and hurt those i care for.
afraid to love because of the pain it causes.
so afraid,
to move,
to call,
to scream,
to whisper,
to groww,
to rage,
to love!
afraid to trust those who enter my life, and those who already have.
afraid to trust the one who knows me so well.
afraid to trust my self, dawm these thoughts that keep me chained to this!
afraid to trust my heart, that screams to trust my soul, thats raged for so long.
afraid to say good bye,
afraid to wish on a star.
afraid to dream of someplace far, and to hope for somthing more.
i'm afraid to live,
yet to die...i am not.
why?
afraid to dream, to wish, to hope, yet not afraid todie. what does that say about me?