A Woman Alone Poem by Felicity Nong

I’ve been messed up
Not knowing where to begin
Or when the end was gonna come

I’ve been psychotic, murdering myself
In my mind at every chance I get
I’ve been crazy running, running…in vain
Chained like a mad woman to an invisible pole

I’ve been dead with earth’s feet on my chest, defeated!
Frustrated by human impressions, disappointed eyelids
When expression has failed me, pulling every dreadlock out
With pieces of my mind. Paralysed by fears, shadows of
Truthful lies of never measuring up not knowing
That it only occurs when measurement is their broken
Barometer.

I’ve been imprisoned, a prisoner of my thoughts
Of people expectations, society manipulations
To be perfection personified when I can only
Be the me that the lord chisels everyday
I’ve been a woman alone on the streets
Of the world with freedom as a non existent fiction.

I’ve been in love…hurt, spat on, beaten, torn
.broken, crushed…in love……
Till I became a lover of me, till I was love
It’s a long process, one step at a time
Sometimes its one step forward
And a backsliding….but im healing
God refuses to leave me
He says no matter how self-destructive I become
His promises he keeps: he’ll never leave nor
Forsake me.