A Victim Crying Out Poem by Ray Hansell

I know I have a problem
It stems from my youth
For many years I tried to hide
Not wanting to deal with truth

You see in my younger years
I was molested
The pain he put me through
He should have been arrested

I know it was embarrassment
That keep me from speaking
But now I've reached the point
Crying out, it's help I'm seeking

I need to rid myself of the pain
That's been locked inside for years
I seem to find my own relief
At night through my tears

I love the quiet solitude
I love to be alone
When no one is around me
That's when I feel most at home

I know if no ones near me
No one can cause me pain
I've had too many years of that
Too long I've played the denying game

All these years I have suppressed
The things that were done to me
Now I know I'm paying the price
In the mirror, pain is all I see

I know my past is the reason
My relationships have failed
I know if I had spoken up
Maybe that monster would be jailed

But I keep the pain locked inside
For only I held the key
There was so much I didn't understand
Confusion was controlling me

But now you see the pains too much
It's getting the better of me
At night I am tormented
The nightmares won't set me free

I know that I need help
For I can't take no more
I'd love to get myself a gun
Find him to even up the score

The pain is never ending
No matter what I try
There are days that I wish
I'd go to sleep and die


4-14-10