A Silly Musing, Slow Days And Uncle Dan Poem by Lonnie Hicks

If everyone lost everything in the depression-
who did they lose it to? Who had money?

If Adam and Eve were the first people
who did the kids marry?

Every time someone says
'Now I am not bragging on my self'
expect some self-bragging is going to be happening soon.

Do fish drink water?

What do you call the top of your foot?

Everyone can't be better than everyone else;
that makes no sense.

Everyone can't be worse that everyone else;
that makes no sense.

I need my glasses to find my glasses.

'There are some people that make it
very difficult for me to be wrong.' he said

You can win every argument
by calling your opponent a pee pee head.

If the guy at the bar has green teeth
he is not from your neighborhood.
Get up and leave to avoid a bad night.

If you have green teeth
you are from out of town.

If you have red teeth and fangs
you are dead.

If you are dead
you should lie down
and stop confusing people.

I walked past the plate glass window
on the street
and a demon had taken over my body-a plump one.

My head stopped growing
but the word never got to my nose.
Yours too?

'Really, really smart people are always ugly.' he said
'It's a rule.'
'You must be very very smart.' she said.

Hey you don't know me well enough
to have your tongue go fishing in my mouth.

She asked me where babies come from.
I told her LA; they also whine a lot there.

I was trying to talk to her
but her kissing me made me mumble.

Obama got to be president
because in Baghdad, he took a three point
shot and made it in front of cameras, and millions
of troops. He earned it.

I am wrong most of the time
but that is because my friends
are correctly challenged

'He was beautiful' she said
but not as beautiful as Ben Franklin
on the 100 dollar bill.

'I used my rapier wit on him, ' he said 'but left out the wit.'