A Purposeful Lesson, From A Painful Past Poem by Maurice Harris

I lament the fact that I do not miss my dearly-departed Dad,
Nor may I see as real, the relationship that we once had:
My Father was not the man he purported to be;
It is only now, long after his demise, that I am able to see
The man I thought I knew, for who he truly was.
What is past is prologue, yet not for me, because
Though many years have past, I still wonder what was real.
My heart aches for what this association was allowed to steal,
Both from me and those I hold in the highest esteem.
Oh, how I wish that it were only a bad dream,
But I am not so fortuitous as to see its end-
My present is not one my past could portend.
I am not my Father's keeper, nor am I to blame
For anything that he once did-so, why then the shame! ?
He was but a fiend with which I share a last name,
Yet, it is not my purpose, nor surely my aim,
To cast aspersions at the man from whence I came,
Merely to markedly point out that we are not one and the same.
I can no more help my connection to him as I can my logical mind,
Yet this diaspora spreads and I may never leave it behind!
I have ardently prayed for refuge from this horrible curse,
Yet my prayers have gone unanswered, and the guilt, gotten worse!
I only wish to awaken to a world where ignorance is no longer-
A world where time heals all, and I am allowed to become stronger
For all that I have had to endure, for all I have overcome,
Yet my mind will not allow riddance to be paid to these cumbersome
Burdens I feel deep in my soul because of who my Father was.
I should not be made to suffer for what my Father does,
Just as no man should be held to account for acts of another,
I should not be made to recompense for those of a Father
I never really knew-whose shameful ruse was hidden from me.
This exorcision is needed, to ensure this curse is ridden, from me
And all those that I hold dear, for they have suffered too!
The world must see not only what I have suffered through,
But that my suffering was not in vain-it was surely not His intention
To inflict such pain without purpose; His Intervention
Is rife with lessons for all the world to see.
Lessons in the way He intends for the world to be:
Where His children demonstrate love, understanding, and compassion
For each other-without bias and prejudice-and without ration!
This must be the lesson that He wished to be taught to me
And the way He believes the world ought to be-
Otherwise my penance was all in vain,
And the world truly is insane!

-Maurice Harris,19 June 2012