Treasure Island

David McLansky

(5/24/1944 / New York City)

A Memory of Miss Elly Funky Boots


Funky Boots are not smelly,
A misnomer from our Elly;
But she wears them all the time,
Which becomes to me a social crime;
Klutzy boots within the bed,
She kicks me often in the head,
As she changes sex positions,
Once I needed a physician;
She peaks out from the shower curtain,
An invitation I am certain,
The water from the shower head,
Blinds me till I’m seeing red,
And then she kicks me in the shins,
With her boots of Zebra skins;
Then she steps down with her heel,
I open up my mouth to squeal,
But there’s water in my throat,
I start to wheeze, and spitting, choke;
I thought of dripping wet romance,
Before she did her bath tub dance;
My heart is broken with my toes,
It’s risky sex I suppose,
I will now quote you my Podiatrist,
“One of you needs a Psychiatrist.”

Submitted: Friday, June 21, 2013
Edited: Friday, July 26, 2013
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Comments about this poem (A Memory of Miss Elly Funky Boots by David McLansky )

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  • Bri Edwards (3/3/2014 7:22:00 PM)

    She peaks out from the shower curtain, ...............maybe you meant to write Her peaks peek out from the shower curtain? i've heard you have that effect on women. [i've made the peak/peek mistake myself i believe]
    HERE IS SOME HELPFUL INFORMATION:

    Choose Your Words
    peak/ peek/ pique

    Let's look at three homophones: peak, peek, and pique. Peak is a topmost point, such as a mountain peak, or to reach that point:

    We're sort of at peak demand right now.

    A peek is a glance or a quick look, like you do with the unwrapped Christmas presents at the bottom of your loved one's closet. It can also mean to glance or to peer at. It's frequently paired with sneak, which can lead you to use the incorrect peak:

    Residents take a peek at bike and pedestrian safety plans

    Yellowstone Offers Sneak Peek Of New Visitor Center

    Finally, pique is to upset or excite someone. You will sometimes see peak one's interest for pique one's interest, but don't be fooled. If you're piquing someone's interest, you are exciting their interest not taking a quick look at it:

    If that doesn't pique your interest, you can leave (but I'm keeping your shoes) . ****************

    [[DAVID, how coincidental *********************that this site mentioned shoes! ]]

    Here's your mnemonic device:

    You have to reach to gain the peak.
    If you peer at something, you are peeking.
    And if you're piqued about something, there's usually a question in your mind about it.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    I will now quote you my Podiatrist,
    “One of you needs a Psychiatrist.”

    I THINK the last line should be more accurate if it is written thusly: [i may NEVER have written thusly in my life, but what better time to use it? ]

    You both need good Psychiatrists.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    as with the 'valsa' poem, i 'love' the story and humor and rhyming. you may be 'better' than i am? hmmm?
    thanks for sharing. bri ;) are you really 70 yrs. old? (Report) Reply

Read all 1 comments »

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