{{{ A Manic Phase }}} Poem by Linda I. Weischedel

This is meant to HELP educate others.
It is not easy at all having a Mental Disorder,
with a lot of hard work it can be stablized...
YOU GOT 2 WANT 2 BE STABLE!
I am just as normal as the next person.....
whatever the heck normal is today? *wink*
Read on.....

Imagine talking so incoherently,
hardly, barely eating,
going 3 days without sleeping
so hyper you're nearly plastered to the ceiling,
this is what a person with
Bipolar 1 Disorder is guaranteed to be feeling.

Going on MASSIVE spending sprees,
ingaging in destructive, uncontollable sex
that go from hours, into nights, lasting for several days,
9 outta 10 times the sex is unprotected,
you then realize you were just used for the timeless sex,
a feeling of irate despair appears,
a split-second mood swing from anger to tears,
you can only comprehend the notion of being used and rejected.

Then you sit, you ponder, you think and you stare,
the world is moving around as usual, but for you it don't exist,
it's lucid.... just not there, thinking of the sex again,
you claim you don't care,
MOOD SWING,
I was used for sex, the temper begins to boil into a torrent flare,
god my life is a mess,
everything just seems so dark, cold and bare.
'Oh you enjoyed using me for sex, yeah, hope you got your fill'
MASSIVE MOOD SWING,
now it's time, I'm gonna get even, yeah, that's right (obscenities)
yo, it's time for me to just kill!

Swing the opposite way now...

I hate my life, it is such a bore,
can't stand dealing with these hurtful people anymore,
NOW
the brain then becomes numb,
crazy thoughts are coming into play,
you might think it is stupid or dumb,
trust me you don't wanna imagine
this part in your head,
the thoughts become actions that are now apart of the floor,
total drippings of the color RED,
there is no longer a reality, claiming nothing to live for,
it just don't matter anymore,
at this point,
you've become 'disassociated' lying in the bed.

You life is no longer ordinary,
for this is only a taste of the insanity you indure,
this isn't a joke, this is for real,
being crazed is the only thing your mind has to feel,
this happens when
you are in an undiagnosed Manic Phase.

This wasn't written off the top of my head for fun,
I'm a survivor to this knowledge,
for I have lived all of this,
with taking medications such as Lithium
it allows me to live a normal life...being a woman that is Bipolar-1