A Lost Moment Poem by JAMES T. ADAIR

I heard only the shout:
'come on, get with the program'
It came from the kitchen
as dishes clatterd
with the distinct sounds of silverware
upon glassware, forks have a special ring
there was of course the murmer of coffee cups
and doors swinging open
and piped in cool jazz
and I was alone
My daydream broken
My dreams of love
that are elusive
The girls come in and a sign blocks their view
all I can see is flip flops and beautiful feet
and I suddenly feel very alone in my little corner typing away
I pretend not to notice but I did
A sip of coffee, my blend of light roast and hazlenut
with a dash of cream
feels hard to swallow as I think of my life drifting away
I have kind hearts who prop me up
I tell myself
But I'm no longer in the world
I'm somewhere outside
Why is it I feel I've learned so much
yet it seems to count for nothing at all
What will become of me
Is there more life ahead
I really wonder
while life goes on nearby
I console myself with trying to be a good friend
To people who are so caring
And my sadness is that I wish I could be more to them
But I've given a part of my heart to many
when all I ever really needed was just one
'here's your change...enjoy your meal'
The echo of the kind voice that spoke these words
to a customer
ring so sincere and true somehow
against the other noise of life
I tell myself that maybe oneday
I might count myself among the happy
But this afternoon I can't seem to find a smile
but I hope that I can give a smile to someone.
The cashier had joked with me
about the mini lemon poppyseed bundt cake
how she saw them come out of the oven and wanted to eat one
She said she read the calorie chart and decided not to..
She smiled broadly when I said
I don't care....I'm having one anyway!
It felt good somehow to feel that smile
I think smiles are what I miss most
I didn't know lunch rushes lasted until 2 PM
But I have trouble making my way to the coffee pot
I feel each sore muscle with each step
My body feels new
But my heart is still lost somwhere
the little boy is complaining to his mommy about something
The sound of 50 pennies rolling into a plastic register drawer
is heard over the many voices
I pull the lever and fill my cup
and take a sip of warmth
I remember I promised to pray for someone
I try to keep my promises