2011/03/04 What A Privilege Poem by Margaret Alice

Underachiever that I am, I went into a state of shock
on realizing the depth of my underachievement, always
at work with my allergy acting as an oxygen-thief where
I fail to concentrate on routine documents

The i’s are not always dotted and the t’s not always crossed,
the spaces and full stops are not always filled in correctly
and my administration a sin, at work with migraine, taking
up valuable space, sitting in my Troglodyte chair

With three dislodged discs in my neck, failing to fall in love
with perfect diction to render letters by grumpy members of
public in perfect English for an obscure secretary of the
President, not careful enough about terms

For messages sent by the one-eyed Cyclopian Troll Interpol
to go hunting criminals all over the world, not word-perfect
at translating Arabic script into workman English, never
manage to meet with any requests

Yes, I can see how I underachieve, how my example in
being at work when feeling ill and filling in forms correctly
created a bad impression, how lacking in accomplishment,
most certainly I deserve serious punishment

The shock I received is SO good for me, they need ever so
much better people in bureaucracy, people who can serve
with an intelligence quotient in the one hundred and
seventies – I shall quietly assimilate

The label of underachiever, luckily my intelligence just fell by
a hundred degrees since receiving that appellation, being in
shock means I am frozen in pain of devastation, of guilt
and sin and all things awful

Therefore I toil in abject misery, sweat clouding my brow,
knowing now that I shall never be good enough for our
scintillating bureaucracy - but what a privilege to try
and serve in my underachieving, lacklustre way!

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Isn't it wonderful how fast we become dumb
when labels are hung around our necks - losing
the little ability we had - so now we have none?
I thank everybody who took pains to make me
see the error of my ways and by labelling me
an underachiever, making sure I turn into
a gibbering idiot overnight, I can happily
assure you the therapy is working, I am
growing dumber by the moment!