Midnight Blues

It's getting late...
It's time to sleep...
It's time to go to bed...
But so much is going through my head...
...

You hurt me when I'm awake.
You hurt me in my dreams.
You lie to me consistently 
You lie to yourself so many years.
...

Why do people have to hurt?
Why do people let them...
Why do people hang onto pain
Why don't people let it go...
...

Calm myself breathe, breathe, breathe
There just words....
They can't hurt me.
So keep your cool, it's time too...
...

I woke up after a dream....
Why do I have these dreams....
My sister tells me, I should write them down...
But I don't want to read about that same dream,  
...

Get up in the morning,
Frustration...
Everything is suffocating me,
Frustration...
...

I hear you call out for me..
I hate to see the pain...
I want to help you,
but how can you help someone,
...

Sometimes I just want to flee,  
run & just keep running...
But running is all I ever knew....
But when I was running I was free...
...

I sit here at the door way
Listening in...
Do I hear?
What are you looking for?
...

It's over cast,
It's cloudy,
Is it going to rain?
Let the new year begin with the rain.
...

I sit here typing my thoughts....
Reading my thoughts
Listening silently....
It's so nice to hear silence....
...

I started something but my mind went BLANK....
Maybe I should roll another...
Sometimes I feel that I'm not the one for him.....
Sometimes I feel that I've done my part it's time to go away....
...

Another Christmas fall out,
great that's it,  
that's how we roll.
I should no this by now.
...

You said the words
I'm out of here,
I'm out of your life for good! ! !
All I ask is for you to look after those girls
...

I've never in my 33yrs,
Love a person the way, I love you my dear.
You are my world,
You are my life,
...

I'm so scared I truly am....
Scared with what the out come will be
But I know in my heart,
What will be, will be....
...

I need to find another way expressing,
not by speaking...
Express it to myself, as what I am doing right now...
Express within, express to me,  
...

I lay here in my bed alone.
I lay here reading alone.
How do I feel?
Alone....
...

It's raining once again,
You feel the pain,
Don't you..?
That's why it's started to rain again...
...

Hmm the sound of rain,
Can you hear it, can you....
All I want to do is close my eyes & write,
just write there's so much to say...... 
...