lindsey ashton

My daughter came home crying, so hard she couldn’t speak,
I tried my best to calm her, wiping the tears from her cheek,
What is it my dear that’s upset you, Why are you crying so?
“Oh mummy, its too awful, you wouldn’t want to know”.
...

Merry Christmas kiddie winkles, Santa is on his way,
He’s putting on his big red suit and getting on his sleigh,
No time to have your supper kids, Rudolph’s nose is red,
So quickly kiss your mum goodnight and get yourself to bed.
...

'Goodnight' my darling he whispered, as he perched himself on the bed,
'I was thinking of you today, you know, about the day we wed.
You looked so pure and perfect, like a cherub upon a cloud,
Approaching me from down the isle. you made me feel so proud.
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Alone in the forest, not a bird or a bee,
Crowded by weeds and the overhang tree,
She sits on a swing made of old wood and vines,
Swinging backwards and forwards, she never smiles.
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If doing something crazy, would label you insane,
would you never do it, just keep your life the same?
Who tells us what is normal, who says how things should be
If everyone did what’s ‘normal’, there’d be no you and me.
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Have you ever been sitting alone, and heard someone whisper your name?
you look around, there’s no one there, no one you can blame.
You question whether you heard it, there’s no reason you can find,
You just think you’re maybe tired, tricks of the mind.
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Backwards and forwards she rocks on her knees,
Her head in her hands, her womb bleeds.
Helpless to stop it, she rocks, she screams,
Her mind haunted, hallucinations, dreams.
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I am the smile behind your tears
I am the knowledge beyond your years
I am the happiness of which you gain
I am the one who soothes your pain
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The last words she whispered, the warmth of her breath,
Taken away so quickly, by the coldness of death,
How those words tangle around my aching heart,
Strangling my soal, it tears me apart.
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Surrounded by my fears, my anger and my sorrow,
The night drags along keeping clear of tomorrow,
The thoughts of death are nothing new,
The damage and hate that I long to hold on to.
...

It's gettin late, the night is ageing,
But not in here, the party's raging,
Just one last drink to set me up for the night,
I'll be sobered up later, it'll be alright.
...

I travel deep within myself, not sure of what I’ll find,
Walking through the tortured maze in the depth of my mind.
There’s bits and pieces everywhere, nothing here makes sense,
Strangled by my own emotion, I have no defence.
...

An old lady I am, worn out and tired
I’ve lived a life to be desired
Not all times were good, not all times were bad,
Not all times were happy, not all times were sad.
...

...

A twisted fear of my own emotions, my tortured temper raises,
Piercing screams, contorted thoughts, haunted by angered faces.
They race around my confused mind, and strangle all that’s sane,
They take the anger to my hand and force me to inflict pain.
...

Standing on the edge of nowhere, now where do I go?
The path I took to get here is hidden in the snow,
Now every angle looks the same, no matter where I turn,
How long will I stand in this blanket of snow? A thought filled with concern.
...

Everything’s silent, not a sound to be heard,
Alone in the house, but I don’t feel scared.
Hiding with the shadows in the corner of the room,
Which have grown and disfigured through the shine of the moon.
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There she stands starring at the ground,
Unaware of what's happening all around,
Why is she sad, what does she know,
What could have happened to fill her with woe?
...

Tiny hands, and tiny feet.
All so simple, all so sweet,
And now you lay there life in hand
Only a child with the courage of a man.
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On mothers day 2009 Jade took her final rest,
So brave she was to share with us the moments she had left.
Though we can no longer see her, her memory still lives on,
Her great personality and beautiful smile will be remembered by everyone.
...