i don't know how but i've managed to lose all control, yet stay completly in control with no more energy
it seems i'm using all of it
in my head i'm projected as a person with no rights and nothing to build up anymore
i've no longer found my life to be one.
...

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Him

I second think my dream of eight years.
I think of my action and options.
Having to actually convience myself of my talent and that his opinion really didn’t matter.
It’s never been this hard... I took rjection better than this.
...

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Anger

Fields of anger power over me, knowing that there was nothing stopping me from punching something such as a wall to make the biggest dent. The feeling of hope completely ambushed, the feeling of hurt grabbing me by the heart and cutting it into a million pieces. I had no control of the temper. I had been by hurt by this and it was continuing what it had started. It had left off where it had started. The rush of heartbreak, the second time. I couldn’t believe that I had gone through all of this and I had just resolved it, just to start being hurt again.

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