Jennifer Ortiz

Wishing I could do something right,
But its never good enough.
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Wishing that I could have a different life.
Hoping that I could get people to like me.
Waiting in the darkness to turn into light.
Like waiting for day to come around
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Sitting here in class thinking about things.

Wishing that I could tell someone.
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Thinking outside,
Wondering whats going to happen next?
Thinking quietly to my self,
is this going to work out?
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The light can give you light during the darkness.
The light can give you hope in a situation.
The light can fill a room up, no matter how big.
The light can give confort to you and even others.
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Its not fair that I lay in my bad thinking about him.
Its not fair that I stay up until late crying about him.
Its not fair that I worry about him 24/7.
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I wish there was someone could see throu my mask.
My mask that holds so, so, so, many secrets.
Secrets that are about me and other people.
People that think it is weriod to show and kind of emotion.
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I don't want to feel like this anymore,
I am tired of feeling this.
The feeling that puts you down a deep dark hole.
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Feels like I am traped inside of my thoughts.

Wondering whats going to happen with mylife.
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I can't stnad my thoughts anymore.
I want to be normal like everyone else.
I am tied of being fat and 'special'
Getting told you can't do something because you are to big
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She wonders why we back off?
She encourage us to do what we want,
but she sends us down a gilt trip.
She get ticked off when we pick the wrong thing,
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She wonders why we back off?
She encourage us to do what we want,
but she sends us down a gilt trip.
She gets ticked off when we pick the wrong thing,
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Laying here in bed thinking,
thinking about life.
Wondering, what could I have done
differently?
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Wanting to feel wanted,
but no one is there.
Tire of being depressed,
because of my hopes getting crushed.
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Anger fills your eyes,
Just as quick as a bomb going off.
It can fill up your body,
Just as quick as quick as a baseball player can throw a ball.
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Depression is like being alone for years.
Depression is like that hopefullness getting crushed.
Depression is were you get stood up.
Depression is a hole that you can't get out of.
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Wishing that I had someone.

Someone that I can trust.
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Trying to write so then I don't hurt.
Hurt physically and mentally.
Mentally, mental. They say that they have meds for that.
Meds that are supposed to help, or just make it worst.
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Lying here crying.
Hoping that someone will ask why?
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Your done with life,
No one cares about you.
You walk the crowded halls,
But it feels like your alone.
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