christina Evans Poems

You found me when I was in between
We were always in too deep of water
And deep water is where we will stay
...

If I starved myself just a little bit would it make a difference
If I were to deprive myself until you gave in would it matter
If I found a way to control things would you do the same
If I accept this for what it is for now would it become easier
...

I could had been your largest star
I would had became anything you desired
I shouldn’t had fell so easily into paradise
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You and I have been mentally damaged by our father.
Surprisingly, you and I are no closer than a cat and dog.
We both were brought up by our resilient mother.
You and I have competed for affection from our father.
...

Looking into this mirror she saw there was nothing there. She has disappeared into the air. Her pale silky skin had dried up. Her hands had folded. Only dark circles had stained her face. All the boys she tried to love never loved her in return. Now she is in an empty bathroom unable to see her once beautiful face.

I hate all the things you have seen.
I look into those eyes and nothing is there.
...

You could speak with malicious intent or give me the silent treatment and I would bare it.
You could tell a thousand lies or disclose the truth even if it hurt me and I would take it.
You could admit to your ambivalence and stay resilient and I would not question it.
You could scream at me to let off steam or use force and I would take the blame for it.
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I live in a box. I live in a box with no ventilation. Slowly, I will die in this box. It is summer time again and there is nothing left for me. I can’t make the world stop or drop. Imprisoned by fear. Let me out. Someone please let me out. Turn the key and set me free. There once was a boy that understood me. I obliterated him with just one kiss and you may be next. You were my dream. You were my wish. You were something special. It is impossible to change the way I am.
I can’t turn the sky green.
I can’t make something out of nothing
I can’t grow flowers without dirt
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