Cruel Summer Poem by Cherry Blossom

I sat here waiting for your call that would never arrive.
I shouldn't have looked at you, I should've let the moon and stars take away my eyes from you so that I wouldn't fall for you.
I shouldn't have loved you so intensely that I felt like dying every night just to give you space.
I realized that our lack of communication hasn't affected you, but it has taken a great toll on me.
I'm here sitting in the blazing heat of the summer sun yet feeling cold just the thought that what "we" had meant so much to me, but nothing to you.
It's ironic how I miss you every single day while you don't miss me.
The day I left you sent me crying invisible tears that nobody could see but me.
I was immobilized for days and that feeling settled in my heart from the loss of you.
This feeling that I have to deal with every day made me question myself "What was I really holding on to since you never gave me anything to go on, so why do I find it hard to let you go? "
And then it hit me, I find it hard to let the ghost of you move on since what you gave me was hope - a false hope.
Something that fixed me little by little yet break me down easily.
As I sit here in front of the lifeless screen, I tell myself that what you did to me will hurt, and it will continue to hurt, and hurt me even more, until one day, someday it won't.
But until that day finally comes, I will find myself devoid of peace and answers, plagued by a series of questions that send me spiraling into the depths of yesterday.