What Was I Thinking? ! ? ! Poem by Gabina (Gabby) Gomez

If I died will he then know,
One day
That I died … my cochins called…
Not once did I think that he would think about me
The moments died as my visions slowly faded...
I wanted someone to hold
…but at the same time I would not want them to know my shame.

My tears fell as I hated myself for thinking this
The thoughts ….of death…they wounded me…
just thought of it I hated..it

If I died…id miss everything I had in it
Life….people…things….the world…
Him…
And myself…
As I faded away, deep in countless thoughts…
Slowly slipping away in the fated stains of my tears…
Would anyone would care….yea…them
I might forgive... but i always end up the one hurt later on... I’m sorry... I say sorry… when it’s not my fault, but I feel like I’m the one to blame....I’m unsure. i don’t want to leave regret.... I want peace not war.