What Im Not Saying Poem by topaz africa

i don't know anymore
my life is like a broken compass
i can not find my way
im like a bird without wings
i look at the mirror very hard
trying to find someone
someone that i used to be
she used to be there
everytime i looked in the mirror
she was always there, as if,
as if waiting for me
and now she is gone
maybe to find happiness who knows
she used to make me happy
she used to make me smile
i have thought about dying
i have thought about giving up
but im not a coward
im not ready to jump
im afraid that if i die
my pain will follow me
and the suffering will not end
not even when im long gone
i need you to help me
im reaching out
all im asking is that please
hear what im not saying
but for survival i need to say!