Well Done Poem by Rev. Dr. A. Jacob Hassler

i ordered the steak be done “medium well”
but it looked like it had been grilled
in the hottest pit of Hell

rare, medium, medium rare; all steaks come out charred
i thought the chef was award-winning -
is grilling a steak so hard?

my smouldering steak may be protection
against court action in case
a patron faces e coli infection

i am no Emeril, but i have some skill
and i certainly know my way
around a grill

i don’t think they’ll ever learn, tho
so now i order my steak bleeding raw
with a flaming can of Sterno