Wall Street Meets The Poet's Corner Poem by Percy Dovetonsils

I enjoy getting bills.

Lets me know at least

SOMEbody cares.

I forgot to pay my Chase minimum

Service charge last month

And my APR has climbed from 4.99%

To 29.99%?

Thanks for reaching out,

Chase.



We’re fighting on three fronts

And need warm bodies

So badly I’ve been re-drafted

And will be sent to a combat zone,

Though I’m 60?

Good to hear from you,

Uncle Sammy.

I was wondering

How you were doing.



My rent has been increased

By 70% per month

And if I don’t comply

Including paying a retroactive

Increase for LAST month

I’ll be evicted?

Thanks for notifying me

Insanely avaricious landlord

Hiding behind

a real estate management corp.

You’re a true friend.



It’s true I’ve never met my friends

In the flesh.

But I feel we have a spiritual connection

Which transcends physical,

If not postal, reality.



And my friendships have solid

Foundations based on money,

Which I must regularly pay

To demonstrate my commitment

To my friendlike substances.



And don’t say

My friends

Could care less

Whether I live or die.

Of course they care.

They need my money

And/or my body

And they’re not ashamed

To say so.

Who else can say that?

Maybe they’re not really human.

Maybe they’re just bloodsucking

Private and/or governmental entities.

Still, they seem passionate

About me.

If I don’t do what they want

They’re going to do something

Really awful to me.

They care enough

To threaten me

To suck my blood

Maybe even to kill me.

And isn’t that what

love is all about?

I’m not alone in the universe

So long as one flea

Is biting me,

One worm is devouring my entrails,

One last buzzard

Is pecking out my eyes.

It’s when I’m

Gleaming,

Scattered,

Cracked,

Bones

And my friends

Start to search

For another host,

Another carcass

To pick clean

That I’ll really start

To worry.