Utter Confusuion- And Your Not Helping Poem by Sam Byron

how long does it take? i've been healing for eight years yet it seems as though i've only started. admitting the problem is simple his name is boo. but the question is who to talk to and who will understand? how to get it out? would it help? numerous counselors haven't. i've never been one to talk so i see only one option...
write
decorate my feelings with words. label them. hurt. anger. deception. boo. betrayal. astonishment. it's easy. but, the hurt, the pain, and the anger are still there. how and when will it go away? time.
you were my dad. why? you were and still are in some ways on a pedestal. how did you get there? is there room for anyone else. should i add to the confusion and let potential in my heart yet again. he wants to help. should i let him? a new dad. a new start. a better friend. someone to understand talk to. show my fears.
i have a dad in my heart and one on my mind. but the question is who is where? i don't want another dad but i do. the title. is that the problem? i want a friend. but will he understand. i've called him dad for eight years. words and names. Meaning?
would he? does he? will he ever.....understand that i don't want another dad that i have one and it's enough.

i want a friend to trust and understand to listen... i call him dad but do i mean it?