Unsure And Immobile Poem by Andrus Cassian

Why, why can't I...why can't I just like a girl
without the twisted means, the stupid schemes
the boyish need to feel
along with the redundant love notes, emotional discharge
Why, why can't I...why can't I just like a girl
without things getting out of hand
without feeling the sting of rejection
without crying dramatic tears
Why, why can't I...why can't I just like a girl
for who she is when no one else is around
for who she is when she can be seen, for who she is around me
Why, why can't I...why can't I just like a girl
have her as a friend, a close friend
take the time to learn about her
make her laugh and smile, be her shoulder to cry on
to be all she could possibly need without attachments, no problems
Why...why...why can't I...why can't I just like a girl
without all the dating issues
the complications from mass problems of the mind
Why, why can't I...why can't I just like a girl
instead of holding my brain in my hands mimicking cradling an infant
instead of dwelling in this current animosity
...why can't I just like a girl without an army of obstacles
chaining me where I stand, unsure and immobile
...why can't I just like a girl
without everything...slipping away
without everything, everything...falling away
...why can't I just like a girl...
...why can't I...why can't I...
...Why...