Twin Unworthies Poem by Ambrose Bierce

Ye parasites that to the rich men stick,
As to the fattest sheep the thrifty tick
Ed'ard to Stanford and to Crocker Ben
(To Ben and Ed'ard many meaner men,
And lice to these)-who do the kind of work
That thieves would have the honesty to shirk
Whose wages are that your employers own
The fat that reeks upon your every bone
And deigns to ask (the flattery how sweet!)
About its health and how it stands the heat,
Hail and farewell! I meant to write about you,
But, no, my page is cleaner far without you.