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Midnights Voice

Rookie - 781 Points (November 3,1950 / Selma, Alabama)

Thunderstorm


Dust flowers up from from the Chilton county dusk
Rust is flaking off the pickup that has a skunk musk

Bullet, the blue tick hound, from your sleave pulls it
Could it be another hot day, in August would it

Peaches have long last month gone to fill the niches
Beaches of the river are low, full of leeches

Summer, time in Alabama is long, bummer
Funner than that song swinglow number

Gathering distant dark blue clouds that are a mattering
Battering thunder rolling, lightning shattering

Huge drops splattering on clay so rouge
Deluge now soaking, coming down like a luge

Passing with one loud crack blasting
Massing clouds now are just in a fasting

Submitted: Monday, August 19, 2013
Edited: Thursday, August 22, 2013

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  • Freshman - 2,239 Points Patricia Grantham (9/4/2013 3:28:00 PM)

    Looks like storms clouds arising and there will be lots of
    rain and thunder. A very well depicted poem on the ravages
    of nature and also its fury. Well done my friend. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 416 Points Shahzia Batool (9/4/2013 9:26:00 AM)

    the beginning and the end rhyming in all couplets shows your focused input... this is what we know as composing a poem! ! ! (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 6,080 Points Neela Nath (8/30/2013 12:16:00 AM)

    A vivid image of angry nature.Is this natural setting the altar ego or the projection of your angry mind? Beautiful word-picture! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 92 Points Yasmeen Khan (8/27/2013 6:22:00 AM)

    What a scene you have painted with vivid images and onomatopoeia! . I feel the thunderstorm is around. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 2,381 Points Diane Hine (8/24/2013 8:44:00 PM)

    Summer thunderstorms - magnificent and keenly anticipated, except for the threat of potential damage.
    You've really captured the energy in this poem. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,842 Points Bri Edwards (8/22/2013 3:39:00 PM)

    i enjoyed the attempts to rhyme, not just with words at the ends of lines, but in combination with words before the ends of the lines. i especially enjoyed:

    Battering thunder rolling, lightning shattering

    and: your use of the word louge to give the
    view of a downpour of rain, though, online, it seems the preferred spelling is luge. thanks for sharing.
    bri (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 24 Points Dee Corpolongo (8/22/2013 7:55:00 AM)

    Love this, Thomas, as I love thunder and lightning, being it is very rare out here, but they still do
    have them, though not always followed by rain, unlike back east.....Still, apart of Natures ways,
    from thunder, rain and haze, to all those sunny days, there is beauty in them all. Great write! (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,076 Points Vera Sidhwa (8/21/2013 3:23:00 PM)

    Battering thunder...lightening shatterin. Throught out this poem, you show an extremely
    masculine style of writing. Eleven of ten. Smile (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Aswath Raman (8/21/2013 8:26:00 AM)

    I needed time to process the imagery you have created with this write sir! Its vivid, and i must admit that it is difficult to combine all the pieces of images you have written. After one long breath I see, a thunderstorm! I vote 10 sir! (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 12,167 Points Valsa George (8/20/2013 7:35:00 AM)

    Dust flower like corn flour
    Beaches full of leaches(leeches?)
    Battering thunder
    Shattering clouds
    Splattering pellets of rain drops...... deluge! Nature in violent fury! ! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 503 Points Paul Brookes (8/20/2013 4:44:00 AM)

    I can feel the tension in the air, the crackle of electricity and the deep humid pressure feel the heavy on my face and the drops on red clayed earth. Great pictures evoked 10/10 BB : O) (Report) Reply

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