Throwing Stones In An Empty Field Poem by Lee Gelis

Hello, Void,
We meet again,
Again at crossroads,
Where deals are made,
Lives are changed, made, ended,
And makes all the things in between
Just words on paper,
meaningless.

I believe it was you that called,
Or perhaps me,
Or by some slim chance we
Stumbled upon each other,
But you’ve taught me enough to
Know that those kinds of things
Rarely happen.

When was it really? That we first met?
Was it early? Was it
The time I got in so much trouble
Back in eighth grade when I
Truly believed that my life was
At an end? Or maybe it was that
Time even before that when I got
Into an argument with my aunt
And then went into a pout, you
Know how I was. So do I. Maybe it
Was that time in sixth grade when
For whatever reason everyone decided
To strand me at that one party. And we
Called that nostalgic. But we no longer
Talk, the people at that grade school
Party. Or maybe it was later, those times
As a high school sophomore, after school
In winter; my love of the salt and the snow.
Waiting for a parent to pick me up. Even
Later when my parents split, and I was cast
Near suicidal, until of course the internet
Gave me what could nearly be called a friend.
Until he gave way, and so did the next one,
And the next one, and the next one, and some
Didn’t even make it that far and I just wanted
To ask, was that you? Did you do that?
Did you give me friends and then take them
Away? Or did you just take them away?

You’ve taught me that at the least. I’m just
Incapable of such adventures, friendship.
They’re all so much happier playing games
On their own. I don’t contribute much anyway.
They make merry and love each other like
Passing fads. Groan against whatever gets
In the way of their delusional dreams, dreams
I do not understand and cannot understand.
They have their stature, I have my Void.
But unless of course that’s just what I’ve
Become, what you’ve made me into. Void.

But again, we meet. Here at crossroads.
This time, not only lonely but entirely
Alone. The last person I talked to just
Giggled at my crude joke, and sallied
Forth with their own affairs. That is roughly
The extent of my communications today.
And we wonder why I like the shadows but
Secretly we both know the answer to that.

Void, I’ve just really been meaning to ask,
With all this “bright future” stuff and you
Know how bright I am and all, why me?
Of all the names in the world why is it
Mine that you call? I mean I’ve come to
Accept it but surely there is a reason?
Bukowski told me that there are worse
Things than being alone, but there is
Nothing worse than too late, and I just
Wanted to say that I like both those
Things because of all the things
You throw at me, those are
The ones that make me
Feel important.
Meaning.
Life.

If you know what that means.