This Is Maya Poem by Maya Reid

She’s too many people
But she’s no one at all
Truthfully speaking
She doesn’t really know
Where she’s supposed to go
What she’s supposed to do
Or who she’s supposed to be
In fact, she doesn’t believe in “supposed to”’s
But knows that she’ll get there eventually
Sometimes she feels like everything’s changing
Like the world is spinning too fast
It’s a rollercoaster ride she wants to get off
Most of the time she’s just lost in the ocean
She feels like she’s drowning in all the thoughts
That swim around inside her head
And she reaches out for a hand to grab onto
But just winds up knocking them off balance
So now they’re drowning, too
But that just talks about her relationships
And how she smothers them
Sucks the air right out of them
Can you describe her? they ask
She’s a scribe
Can’t go anywhere without pencil and paper
Is always writing
Or thinking
She’s a dreamer
And a lover
Who’s always prepared to fight
Speaking of fighting,
What element is she? they ask
She is mostly water: fluid, ever-changing
Gentle, but scary when she’s mad
Yet she’s fire – burning her own path through life
And still she’s wind: wild and untamed
An invisible force strong enough to level an entire town
Further still, she’s earth – an unstable ground
And yet she’s the most stable thing some people know
What color is she? they ask
She’s a rainbow
One color cannot define her many facets
She goes from red to black
And everywhere in between
But each hue is viewed through blue-tinted glasses
Looked at through eyes brimming over with sadness
What does she look like? they ask
Well, that depends…
Which mask is she wearing then?
Is it the one she wears when she’s trying to fit in?
“Try” being the key word there
Because, most of the time, she’s alone
Now, don’t get it twisted
She’s loved many
Given many the power to destroy her
Trusted them not to
And been broken every time they walked away
Is shocked by the few that choose to stay
And protects them with her life
She is a panther
Caring…teeth baring
She’ll never give up on you
Like she gave up on herself
But she needs you to stay here
You are the string that saves her
The final breath she clings to
The one she needs to hold her sky up
And find the rainbow hidden in each storm
No matter how wrong it is,
She needs you
You see, she’s the world’s stupidest genius
Can solve any equation
But can’t tell you who she truly is
And still tries to force fate to meet her wishes
She’s been confused for so long
Been fooling herself for even longer
And is afraid to let go for fear of losing
But knows she’s losing by holding on
By holding on to this life she’s sick of
This empty life so full of nothingness
-Is that an oxymoron? -
That makes her feel…
…Deflated
Like a balloon that the air’s been
Slowly seeping out of
And now there’s so little helium left
That she doesn’t even float anymore
And she used to be a banana:
Soft, mushy,
Yellow-bellied and easily broken
In need of a peel
But she’s trying to not be that person anymore
She’d spent her whole being yellow
Thinking she was a dandelion…
…Nothing more than a weed
And then she woke up one day and realized
That she may have been yellow,
But she was a daffodil
-A real flower-
And so she’s letting go of that life
That life in which she is everyone and no one
Your best friend and your most feared enemy
Where no one and no place owns her
Yet she can’t bring herself to leave
She can’t bring herself to leave.
This is who she is
It’s not who she used to be
And probably not who she’ll wind up being
But this is here
This is now
This is Maya.