The Mattress Poem by JJ Evendon

Who cares what size bed is best
when all you want is a place to sleep and rest.
A mattress that's comfy and without frills.
A mattress that can soak away your backache and ills.
With a pillow or two to support one's head
and a duvet cover to warm you when in bed.
Though most will give you a pleasant night
unless you wake up horrified and feel locked in tight.
Two mattresses laid side by side and covered in a soft white sheet,
perfect, I thought, so quickly climbed in to bed with both feet.
As I began to move around this way and that,
I became aware that there was an enormous crack.
In the middle, and there next to me
a long deep hole where one shouldn't be.
I've slept in that bed and every inch I know
so surprised, that every time I moved, a cavernous gap would show.
I turned to see what was there
only to be pulled in towards some monstrous lair.
I tried to move but could not escape
and any attempt was now far too late.
As I tried to grab the sides of the sheet
I heard a voice say, 'Darling, stop fidgeting and go back to sleep'.