The Inevitable Poem by Garrett Richardson

Drawing meaning from the unexpected
A sign that cannot be denied
A portrait of our everlasting expression
And the small distance between us, side by side
Nearing the end of this long discussion
Still struggling for what more is needed to say
I am a man of words telling a story of my hell
With someone who can afford to walk away…

This conflict of interest
Of whether to act and indulge
Or risk waiting for the greater gain to come
Of all the joy that never came, there was still some
While we await the inevitable end
We enjoy the inevitable events
But everyday that passes I lessen the risk
And everyday that passes makes much more sense
This night I watch as you leave me
But late morning I gaze out of this window
This window of opportunity,
Which relieves me so, I sigh
Now I stare, up glaring at the sky
Thanking, whoever is up there, I do not know why

The sun taunts me
It used to be everything I could see
Like a substance that works for everyone
But no longer working on me
It shines for places I'll never go
It shines on people of which I'll never know
I believe that in the rest of my life
I'll never feel what this is like
So I will turn away
And dream of an escape
By digging a hole so deep... and soon
I'll break away from sanity and climb into

I despise the rise of the upsetting sun
So I hide away until the day is done
I'll exclude myself a few months out of the year
To avoid the drama of the sun, the sweat, and the tears
I could fall away and no one would know
Release this tension of holding on
And feel the high of letting go

In this event of turning away
I elude the pressures of the sun
And find the solace of the shade
In a place far away… from everyone

In desperate times, in such desperation
This long road I travel once left me behind
Now used to gain momentum
It helps me get passed my strife
The theme of it all defines my life

Running water sets this scene
I stand and stare in the mirror
This has become so familiar to me
Chasing the temptation of summer
Betraying the comforts of my dark little space
Hoping the sun will cure all my trauma
By painting me differently
From the one I have claimed to hate
Allow my true colors to show through
By trading the black for the white
And the grey for the blue

Just as I feel the closeness of the end
I search for your eyes
Seeking the message they send
It seems that I have been proven wrong
It seems I have found my reason to live again
It's been long since I have questioned
What it is that I really want
Instead I follow your directions
As YOU lead me on