The Extraordinary Dreams Of An Ordinary Man Poem by Bob and Alex Eichen

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Is It?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I'm 50 and what have I done? I always wanted to be the world's greatest athlete, to cross the finish line first, to the cheers of an entire stadium of fans and to win the gold medal!

SORRY DUDE, FAT, SLOW AND WEAK IS NOT AN OLYMPIC EVENT.

I always wanted to be an astronaut or a rocket scientist, a PHD that discovered the secret to faster than light travel, to help usher in man's exploration of space.

LOOK, YOU DO ALL YOU CAN BY WATCHING STAR TREK AND STAR WARS AND BUYING ALL THEIR COLLECTABLES. THAT'S CONTRIBUTING!

But, I wanted to be a hero, somebody who saved lives, somebody everyone looked up to and respected. I wanted to be a soldier, a seaman, a paramedic or maybe a cop.

WAIT! REMEMBER 25 YEARS AGO YOU TESTED TO BE A FIREMAN. YOU PLACED 135TH ON THEIR LIST AND MOVED UP TO 125TH WHEN 10 GUYS WERE HIRED. THAT'S PRETTY GOOD!

But, I wanted to be a leader of men, perhaps Governor, Senator or even, President of the United States!

DUDE, YOU DON'T EVEN VOTE!

I wanted to be a great musician, or movie star, maybe the lead singer of the greatest rock and roll band in the world.

EASY, EASY, THERE OZZY! I STILL HAVE A HEADACHE FROM THE TIME YOU SANG KAREOKE AT THE PUB-N-GRUB IN RACINE! DON'T YOU REMEMBER ALL THOSE BOOS!

Oh, right.

LOOK, NOT EVERYONE IS CUT OUT TO BE A SUPERSTAR. YOU DELIVER POTATO CHIPS. THAT'S IMPORTANT ENOUGH. YOU DO IT WELL AND YOU MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY. CAN'T YOU JUST BE SATISFIED WITH THAT?

Oh. please!
Wait!
I know!
I could be a poet and write poetry!
Why, I could be the greatest poet in the world........