The Coward Poem by Megan Lacey

I find myself wondering-
What sort of lover you would be?
You already tease me… and tempt me.
Don’t mistake the blushes and demure smiles-
I want you.
Sometimes I am giddy with it-
At all times uncertain.
Don’t let the sly barbs and witty banter fool you.
I want you- and I am terrified.

I hate being afraid, but in this one thing… this one thing-
Whatever courage I have deserts me
And my stubbornness offers me no assistance.
I don’t dare speak: Soft words stick in my throat.
And I fear… fear your laughter- or your pity.

I don’t know why I’m writing this:
You’ll never realize it’s you.
I don’t know how to flutter my eyelashes-
Or casually ask you to get some coffee with me-
I want you and you’ll never know.
Because, in this one moment,
When it really counts: I am a coward.
I want you- but you’ll never have me.
Because you’ll never know I wanted you.