Swan-Song Of J. Alfred Prufrock Poem by Lucius Furius

J. Alfred, I'm sick of your whining -
get off your butt and do something!

Yes, I know life is meaningless.
I know you've got a lot of time on your hands.
Of course, tea parties can be boring.
But let me just ask here: 'Is someone making you do this?
Is someone making you hang out with these cold, scornful women? '
Surely a guy like you could find someone to relate to. It's not that hard.

No, you're not Prince Hamlet -
and you're not an attendant lord either.
You're J. Alfred Prufrock!
Eat a peach, for-God's-sake!
Talk to the mermaids!
Just do it!