Surrender Poem by Peter Elliott

The enemy they've got sticks of wood They hit against our head
Our morale is falling fast Let us make peace instead

-Refrain-
We can still defeat them If we stand our ground
O what is that - is that another Rumour going round?

The enemy's got a magician Who's cast on us a spell
I'm starting to feel sleepy I don't feel very well

The enemy they've got wizards That poison our water supply
Let us abandon this campaign I do not want to die

The enemy they've got parachutists Who land behind our lines
It appears that we're surrounded
Let's get out while there's still time!

The enemy they've got spears With a sharpened tip
Faced with such a weapon Our courage starts to slip

The enemy they've planted mines In the path of our advance
Let's give up this battle While we've got the chance

The enemy they've got maces With the ends covered with nails
Let them do with us what they will Even put us in their jails!

The enemy they've got whips Them in the air they crack
I've no desire to have one wrap Itself around my back

The enemy they've got stones They roll down from the hill
They could easily break a bone, Maybe even kill

The enemy they've got catapults That stones at us can shoot
Let's give up thoughts of plunder! Let's give up thoughts of loot

The enemy they've got elephants Let us all retreat
It looks like we're headed for A terrible defeat

The enemy they've got Exocets That speed across the sea
And explode on hitting their target Let us from this city flee

The enemy they've got daggers That cause wounds grievous sore
I no longer want to fight In this ill-fated war

The enemy they've got laser-guns
That burn through stone and steel
I think it's true to say that we A desire for peace do feel

The enemy they've got tanks That we cannot stop
Surely we're not going to see Who'll be the last to drop?

The enemy they've got archers Of deadly aim and skill
And in the face of their arrows To fight we've lost the will

The enemy they've got bombers That buildingc can destroy
To them we're only insects Who them a little bit annoy

The enemy they've got flame-throwers
They'll set our clothes aflame
No longer seek I victory! No longer seek I fame!

The enemy they've got cavalry Armed with metal swords
Followed by the infantry A mad barbaric horde

The enemy they've got napalm - It sets the skin on fire
A bit like being sacrificed On a funeral pyre

The enemy they've got neutron bombs With radiation unseen
But they leave the buildings standing An invader's dream

The enemy they've got atom bombs Remember Hiroshima
And if we want to save our lives We'd better now surrender

The enemy they've got cannons That can batter down our walls
And we do not feel very inclined To be hit by cannon balls

The enemy they've got hand grenades That can blind and maim
And to think that I was told That war was just a game

The enemy they've got rifles With telescopic sights
In the face of odds like this We no more want to fight

The enemy they've got battleships That can shell our ports
And all we've got to defend ourselves Are prehistoric forts

The enemy they've got muskets That fire balls of lead
That if you happen to be in the way
Can go clean through your head

The enemy they've got tear-gas That makes the eyes to cry
Enough of all this fighting To make peace let us try!

Then the hated enemy Came running into view
A short decisive debate Swiftly did ensue

Till the enemy were routed Much to our surprise
Now when we hear rumours We have grown more wise.