Riff On Womanzsoul's 'sex Is 99% Mental' Poem by David McLansky

You tell me to sit on the couch
In the living room;
Then you wiggle and you slouch
Into our big bedroom;

I can't see you,
You can't see me,
You tell me not to move;
This new way of having sex,
Does Dr. Ruth approve?

You tell me to disrobe
Until my underpants,
You say your sitting on the bed
In briefs you got from France.

You say this is the latest craze
The science fundamental,
(I hope that this is just a phase)
That sex is really mental;

I try and really concentrate
On having sex with you
You shout out, 'This is really great!
I love the things you do! '

I'm naked in the living room
You're in the bed alone;
Is this like having telephone sex
Without the telephone?

You tell me that I was great,
The sex was never better,
You've never reached such peaks before,
You never have been wetter;

I'm just a guy sitting on the couch
In his underwear;
If sex is 99% mental,
Then I've lost my mind somewhere.