Repentance Valery Alalykin Poem by Yuri Starostin

Repentance
(A free verse)
Always on the best I was in the hope,
But suddenly to me the world was presented by other.
It was not that was known by me before.
It was through the patient.
There was a winter. But for some reason I see the summer
And the sun is black, strewed by the soot.
What go suddenly with the nature? Or all with me it is
From the vital tragical landscapes?
It is time to go home! Home, not to go mad!
More soon! Well I have done?
I should return this very day,
And I for the month have betrayed her!
She is with children there … Here the offends -
The destiny its solve for the minutes!
And everyone thinks: now we are quite...
But every day all is worse for some reason.
I have approached to the house. The Shutters are closed.
Is not present in the court yard of anybody's traces.
The wall was strewed and it is the visible stones,
As the condemnation of a sins.
The log hut is cold.
There are no a signs happy.
I have put on a pure shirt.
But there is no the wife, the children loved.
So it is lonely - though lay down on an executioner's block.
And I have returned to the house to the happiness!
I do not agree with the cold and darkness.
It is better to test a crucifixion,
Than to reconcile with the emptiness!
The fire wood crackles in the oven.
I have lighted a lamp, the calendar has noted.
Well with whom to rumour by the word? -
I in the house have suddenly noticed the walls.
I heard that the walls have the ears,
They remember each sigh,
It exhausted the open souls,
Overtaken by the drama unawares.
«Tell, walls, where are the wife and children?
And how to me to be further? »
But the walls long could not answer,
As though did not want to speak.
«Our owner!
We recognise your domination.
You have put each stone.
But here the families imperfection
Another would state more better.
Your wife by the melancholy is ill.
A doctors cannot switch a cure on.
And every day she grows thin more strongly,
As though someone has given to drink by the insidiousness.
And the small children are in a shelter,
In a monastery that for the river,
Live in the monastic cosiness,
But it is very bitter for the another's walls.
Them impart the feelings of a compassion,
To show the care about the nears,
And learn, as any tests
To overcome in the severe life.
And still their thought rushes
In an alarm about the father and mother.
And it is not clear them, what sense -
At God to be on a church porch? .»
«Thanks, walls,
You are more natives and closer now.
I any more will not leave you.
Now, believe, me moves
The great shame in that farewell hour! »
The roads in the vital space
We again search for each time,
When oppresses the inconstancy,
Pushing to a precipice sometimes.
What reasons can be?
A congenital gene? Or an education?
When in the embraces of a wordly abyss
Ourselves create to our the punishment.
And having looked back, we search a guilty,
With the board having covered from a false phrases.
And being confused in the meditations immense,
We wander infinitely many times.
Oh life! - a reality and consciousness,
The family empire destroyed by a century,
And from the soul of a love exile
In the shameful dispute of the person with the person!
And here the hospital. I am in the chamber.
The wife not going done lies.
The sister in a white dressing gown
To my wife hastens:
«Well, here he is! I spoke:
Where he go without you?
And you slightly have not ruined yourself,
On light all cursing»
«Yet late all! I want to die.
The sister, bring to me a poison.
And in the head-bed put a candle.
So will be easier to me,
Than to know all truth! »
«Marina!
I worked all the days long, did not walk!
Did not sit at a cafe with the colleagues.
And a girls did not entice
By a money and lodgings for the night»
«Andrey!
That a women was not, I do not trust.
Why has taken an offence and has suddenly left?
Forgive, I am not able to pretend to be,
And I think, you have found a hobby»
«Marina, lovely! Your reproaches
I am close to heart have apprehended.
And as in a thickets of a sedge,
Having cut the heart, the rough became.
But I repent and I promise
To be thoughtful in your words.
Now I only understand,
As you were right! »
And at once all was changed!
The flush has flashed on the face.
And the anger has left. The favour has returned
Bematched to Marina beauty.
How I love her is only the stars know!
But the first star - she is only!
And again the passions will burn,
And I go mad!
Salute to you, good-mension!
You are as a live being,
Care all of us from a madness
And again you gift a celebration!
And here we are houses. The children with us.
I have hot heated an oven.
That any more was not a tsunami,
I drank the milk all evening long.
27.03.2011