Queer Near My Beer (Hank Williams Parody) Poem by Lance Carthen

There's a queer near my bear.
And I think he wants me...dear.
He's... staring at my behind.
Into these last nine beers,
He keeps scooting a little near.
Im sure... he's staring at my behind.

Is he gonna keep scootin,
Until he's right beside?
Because then maybe Im sure,
I'll lose my mind.

There's a queer near my beer.
And I sure he wants me...dear.
He's....staring at my behind.

Last night and the night before.
I had come to drink some more.
He..was staring at my behind.
What the hell am I supposed to do?
This queer thinks that Im cute.
Im gettin tired of him staring at my behind.

Is he gonna keep scooting till I cant even think?
Why cant any women even give me a wink.

There's a queer near my beer.
And he's lusting for me...dear.
Now he's drooling, staring at my behind.

Lord Ive tried and Ive tried.
But he's staring with his mouth wide.
He's reaching out for my behind.
This new found love that he's found.
Will leave him unconcious on the ground.
I stop him from touching my behind.

I started to swinging,
My anger has grown.
I knocked off his hat...
And her pretty blonde hair fell down.

There was no queer near my bear.
Now Im feeling like a cows rear.
I could have been laid the last three nights...