Pun Ish Meant? Poem by David Taylor

A joke that isn’t funny
Words that, mean, don’t hurt any.
With my wife I often argue
The beef is just a bet
She doesn’t like the stakes I get.
The Mummy’s wearing postume jewelry
She is feeling cold and weary
So she went home, called a taxi, ernie.
When the hairdresser made a pass
And then he found your hair is straight
Did he make you curl up and dye?
Do you have a shiny crown
Does that mean a queen we’ve found?
There is no plaice on earth
That’s like death roe a fishy birth.
The jelly fish were all a quiver
As the arrows were delivered.
Ten quips for a pun ish meant
To make you rack your brains
Or split your ribs, or then again
Perhaps you’re going spare
ribs not split
Or are we splitting hares
because we put the watched steak out.
No pun in ten did.
Make you laugh?
I’ll just go and cut the grass.
Punishment? You may well ask.