Poem For My Baby Poem by Tiff Murphy

I keep thinking that you’re going to come home but you’re not,
The shadow of you lingers in my mind all of the time,
I'll never get to count your tiny fingers and toes,
I'll never get to watch you crawl or walk,
Never see the smile or hear the laugh that I yearn for so much,
No words that you could have spoken,
No picking you up when you fall,
No wiping your tears away or kisses to make the pain easily disappear,
I won't hear any I love you mommies,
But please know that you’re always in my prayers,
I don't know what happened or understand how you just seem to disappear,
I saw you on the monitor a few days before,
Your spine, skull and heartbeat,
It finally made me realize that you were there,
How can such a strong heartbeat seem to just vanish into thin air,
That day at the hospital I was so scared,
One minute you were there and the next you were gone,
Now I have no clue how to just pick up and move on,
Everyone keeps saying it happened for a reason,
Did I do something wrong,
Is that why you’re not in my arms?
They keep saying that it was god's will and way,
What kind of a god takes a child away from its mother?
What could I have possibly done so wrong?
Although you’re no longer here,
I wish with all of my heart and mind that your okay and that you don't hate me in anyway,
Because I'll keep on loving you even though I never held you or got to say goodbye,
You'll always be my little one,
My brightest star in the sky,
Mommy just wanted you to know that you were really my very own precious angel in disguise.