Please Don’t Squeeze Poem by Joe Rosochacki

Mr. Whipple is synonymous with toilet paper,
Dick Wilson died, therefore a bit of Charmin went with him,
He was the one that instructed how not to squeeze of taper,
The waste product that is used for waste--not for whim.

He made over five hundred commercials telling shoppers how to behave,
He had given fond memories of toilet paper through the years,
Charmin was product he had hawked on the television sound waves,
His comical attributes, the expressions he used were amusing to our sight and ears.

So that it goes that one man is gone who had implanted in us,
“Please don’t squeeze the Charmin”
For generations of us viewers, God rest his soul,
For even if we did squeeze the Charmin, he did not cuss.

(11-19-2007)