Pcorrect Poem by Sidi Mahtrow

hey boss its me again

this skirt you hired
to help me adapt
to the world of pc
is worse than mehitabel

She - gez did you see that
this computer
does capitalization for me
even if i don't want it too

just because she went
to smith college or
some other east coast school
she thinks that she knows
how to cure all the world s ills
and she can t even get the arky
she hooked up with to stay pure
know what i mean question mark

anyway here i was
making some notes for you
for your next political speech
and i said something about that
nubian fellow
with the big scimitar
and this skirt says
you can t say that
it's not pc
so i sez to her
we re not talking
about computers are we
and she says
you been pounding
your head too much
and from there
the conversation
just went down hill

her name s hill by the way

so i sez what's wrong with nubian
he s black isn t he
and she says
you can t call him
black and i sez
i m not calling him anything
i m referring to the country
in africa he s from
and she says makes no difference
he s not black any more
he s colored
and i sez
black and white ain t colors
and she got sort of upset
and threatened
to get out the raid

she uses pesticides
since she gave up
using fly swatters
although she claims
she s for the environment
and all
but that's another story

anyway she said you
don t understand
we are all equal
and i sez
you mean cockroaches
have the same rights as you
and she says
we re all god s children
and then so help me god
she used her thumb
to crush this little ant
that was crawling
across the desk
talk about two faced
anyway you hired her
and i have got to learn
about this pc
which i thought
meant personal computer
but she says
politically correct is
what pc means

an she says
my writing isn t going to fly
so i thought maybe pigs fly
and flies fly but for sure
words don t fly off my page

so what s she so uptight about
could it be that she s got her
shorts hiked up too tight
and she s got something in mind
for the future like maybe getting
another job that is as soon as she
can figure out how to get rid
of that blob she s stuck with