Pain Poem by Lauren Owens

I’m nostalgic for a life I never had,
You were all wonderful,
but you were not enough,
you did not dull the pain,
you didn’t make the suffering go away,
And I was in love with it,
the pain it was the only thing that stood by me,
and spurred me on,
the pain was always there,
ready for me to give in,
giving me space to try everything else,
but you see,
pain was my true love,
it couldn’t let me go and vice-versa,
it wanted better for me,
but I was sadistic and desperate
and it was always there.