Orthodox Land Unorthodox Poem by David N. Munene

My land is unorthodox
A mirror of the entire World
A minor reflection of the invisible Bliss
A land where survival is not by might
Where rains fall in scorching sunshine
And people walk in both dark and light
Where concubines bequeath more than wives
Yet homes are run by wives with iron knives
Obesity is wealth; malnutrition a style
Where all goods could be wrong
All wrongs heavenly good all at once!
Alas! Heaven and Earth in one place!

Our cultures mix perfectly with alien cultures
Introduce your foreign lingo today,
Tomorrow we sell you your lingo’s dictionary
Our women taste your food once
Sunrise finds them with a recipe better than yours
Degrees earned on the streets;
Titles of lands grabbed in political heats,
Outshine those produced legally
Ours is an art better than Chinese’
Deny us visas but locally we still treat you like Jesus
No grudge; the World leaks our soles
But our meals never fill up bowls

Life’s hustles, hurtles, tussles and bustles
Begin before dew perches on our hairs
Long before the sky’s daily virginity breaks,
Marikiti is cut and pasted in Gikomba
Before the sky’s cervix closes, all markets are mobile
In parking lots, roads and pathways, kitchens and cafés
We love congestion; we have congestion
From schedule to planning to timing
Don’t call them slums! They are our homes
They are not traffic jams! We are socializing
Please! That is neither nepotism nor tribalism
We are blessing our ancestral generations
You judge our way very harshly
Yet you know not a thing
That this is our style; our way

Religion is key; liberal faith is inevitable
Even pagans worship – if only the note’s colour
Whatever day… or night you prefer,
Walk around: clapping, drumming and yoga
Loud praises and silent pleas
To numerous deities – practically common
Or to almighty God – theoretically common
Hideouts, churches, temples and mosques
Planted like lightening needles in estates
Wonder how much of taxes the government exempts
By letting those coffers go untaxed
Especially for noise pollution

Omniscient God, bless this nation
Let the rest of you give us a standing ovation
For if our people were to hoist our flag,
Several would be everywhere
Next to Osama or even by Oprah
Lucifer would turn leaf to find us in Hell
God knows if flags go to Heaven,
Ours would go hoisted like in the London marathon
He’d only ask, “why green and not Masai Mara’s dust”,
“Why lions and not wildebeests? ”
Patience is not our virtue – American once and for all
We do not make mistakes – they are experiences
No trial and error – just trial in this era

We’ve got the whole world in this land
We’ve got the whole world in this land
We’ve got Muhammad and Jesus – in this land
We’ve got the Jew and the Nazi – in this land
We’ve got Osama and Obama – in this land
We’ve got the donors and borrowers – in this land
We’ve got justice in injustice – in this land
We’ve got warlords and refugees – in this land
We’ve got the harvest and the hunger – in this land
We’ve got the dust and the mud – in this land
We’ve got the whole world in this land