One Of The Worst Things On Planet Earth Poem by Val Brooklyn Rogers

I despise job interviews.
Just like a stale ASPARAGUS SANDWICH.

Tell me about your self.
The interviewer eyes me anticipating the
Perfect answer. I only offered a slight smile.
I muster up my best and say, ''I'm a serious person.
As serious as cancer. More serious than a panther.'

I can't believe myself! Why did I say that?
What was the art of interviewing anyhow?
You know that part where every reply is exact
Matter of fact?
What should I respond when she asks, 'Why do you
Want to work for this organization? '
My personal answer would have been.
'For the money, of course.'

But that would be the disqualifying reply.
Words swam in my head.
Then I said 'This company has the best reputation for
Training it's employees.'
What I wanted to say was, 'Look, you have my resume here.
Call me if you have any openings.'
I really pondered the art of begging.
But that wasn't appropriate.

She hit me again! ! Why did you leave your last job?
I only stared into space for at least one whole minute
Maybe two. Then I said 'My personality wasn't
Compatible with the employment. I wanted to branch out.
Was that two answers or one. This was a crucible.
I wanted to gnaw at my own neck.(not possible)

Another question! ! Tell me everything you know about our
Company. I swallowed hard. A fish bone from last night's
Dinner.
Well I don't.... I know you offer OJT (on the job training)
She listed some facts about their organization.
Then we shook hands ' We'll keep your resume on file.
Thank you for your interest.

Finally! And a few HALLELUJAHS! ! Haaa! !