One Man Drinking Games Poem by Andrus Cassian

What would I be without you...
Friends
What would I be without you...
Friends
What would I be without you...friends
I thought it would be funny to keep you hanging in suspense
at my expense
to pay the bill I have built of silence
for I am a man of few words
though I speak in riddles and puzzles
and I speak like a boring manual set to put one to sleep
Please bear with me
and just hear me out
For all I wish is to say thank you
I appreciate you
For where would I be if I hadn't seen
those distant faces in the passing hallways
those distant faces in the gray classrooms
Just another stranger
with a scowl upon my face for disappointment
and lack of words to say
For where would I be
if I hadn't met you my close friends of childhood
the people I spent endless days
creating clubs and groups
just enjoying being kids and playgrounds
Just another lonely kid
sitting by myself
staring at my feet
as I swing so sad in a broken swing set
For where would I be
if I hadn't met those friends in junior high
the trouble we would get into
the stupid things we did to get attention
our great laughs and dumb things we say
singing our way down an empty road
on a warm, summer's afternoon
I couldn't have asked for a better day
For where would I be
if it wasn't for the friends in high school
that cared so much
cared for me enough
to stomach me in my darkest days
put up with my complaining and indifferent ways
put up with my indecisions and explosive attitude
who were there for me
who stood beside me
who gave me a reason to smile
For where would I be
if it wasnt for the past loved ones
the ones I grew crazy to adore
the ones I chased day after day
afraid they wouldnt take me as I am
afraid someone else would steal them
afraid I wasn't good enough
the ones I dared to impress
the ones I dared to confess
Maybe I wouldn't have tried at all
maybe I would've never shed a single tear
maybe I would've never knew what love meant
maybe I wouldn't have the heart I have today
Maybe I just wouldn't be myself
if I didn't have angels sent to save...
So here I play my one man drinking games
for I have lost a lot of friends along the way
some to negligence
some to silence
some to fall-outs and stupid fights
some to moving away
some to moving on
some to just growing older
some to just growing tired of me
some to hating me
cause I may despise them right back
but still I hope you remember me
for I still remember you
and all I can say is thank you
for getting to know me
for allowing me to know you
I'm not perfect and never have been
sometimes I have failed to be the perfect friend
but I still tried nonetheless
And I apologize if I was never there
I apologize if I grew older and none too wiser
I apologize if I sold my voice to silence
and never bothered to speak again
for I speak to you now
to say I'm sorry
and to thank you just the same