'One Call Tames Them All' Poem by Frank Avon

'daunting dandelions
marauding moles

bothersome bugs
spotty sprinklers

crank crabgrass
tenacious termites'


I read it in the Atkins ad
'one call cures them all'

(after all, poetry is where you find it,
and I found the ad on PoemHunter)

so I looked up Atkins
and found out it's a lo-carb diet:

don't feed dandelions
bread and potatoes,

moles should be steered clear
of legumes and sweet beets

keep bugs away from
chocolate and fruit juice

spotty sprinklers might get clogged
with milk shakes and potato soup

don't let crabgrass grab onto
spaghetti and yogurt

avoid feeding termites
corn and white rice.

Keep guard
on your yard:

count the carbs!
Try rhubarb.