On Vacation Poem by Shirley Hanley

Vacation, that's laughable!
There is no vacation
from this melancholy.

Helplessly floundering
in the pain
of this depressive episode.
Surrounded by feelings
of worthlessness...
I discover my mind
searching uncontrollably
over the past,
fetching pieces of memory
from the debris.

Choking over my bad choices,
drowning in a sea of pain.

Blackness washes over,
turning everything into
dull shades of gray.
Joyless this place.

Yes William Styron, I agree,
it is the despair beyond despair.
Here the glass is half empty.
Paralysis has set in.

Thank God all days
are not as this...
11/30/02

'The madness of depression is the antithesis of violence. It is a storm indeed, but a storm of murk. Soon evident are the slowed-down responses, near paralysis, psychic energy throttled back close to zero. Ultimately, the body is affected and feels sapped, drained.' [quote by William Styron from his book 'Darkness Visible']