Oh So Very Wrong Poem by tina anderson

I'm trying to strive for perfection
I'm dying in search for protection
I'm lying to hide my deceptions
But it's breaking me within.

I'm dying to fight through the sadness
I'm lying to get through this madness
I'm trying to flee from the badness
That has taken over me.

How can I find
A way to hold on,
When I cannot see
Myself being strong?
How can I stop
Myself from this pain,
When I feel alone
And this hurt still remains?
How can I strive to hold on
When my life feels only wrong?

I'm crying myself each night to slumber
I'm defining myself as only a number
I'm lying to all who believed I've recovered
But it's breaking me within.

I'm trying to conquer this anger I feel
I'm lying to those who believe I have healed
I'm dying from all of the emotions I conceal
But it's all taking over me.

How can I find
A way to hold on,
When I can't imagine
Myself being strong?
How can I stop
All this agonizing pain,
When I feel alone
And this rage still remains?
How can I fight to hold on
When my life feels so very wrong?