Not Where I Begin Poem by Nom Nom Nom

Sitting on my bed
thoughts about cutting in my head
God appears with a tear in his eye
'nom please don't try to die'
I look at him and try to cover up
but the blood is showing through the makeup
I pull down my sleeves
hiding that I actually do want to leave
but deep down I dont want to die
I dont ever want to say goodbye
He comes and sits beside me
I wish that he didnt have to see
He knows I self harm
why does he have to see a arm?
He pulls up my sleeves and starts to cry
'why do you want to die? '
I told him I didnt
'I gave you life when you were an infant'
I looked away from his eyes
pulling on my disguise
I am ashamed of myself indeed
I have made this into a need
I am sorry dear Lord
drugs I couldnt afford
I let the devil win once more
I am now poor
I cant fill the hole
and I have lost the control
as you can see
this isnt me
my arms are wrecked
I have freaked
about whats in my head
but please just forgive my sin
and let me go to bed
for as I lay here and remember how I begin

~ Nom ~